How One Question Got Me To Go To Church: Tips for Inviting Your Friends
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It All Started With One Question – Would you like to go to church with me?
I want you to think back to the time when you were deciding to go to church. Why did you go? What held you back from initially going?
For many people in the Christian community, the church has always been a part of routine, day-to-day life, but it hasn't always been the case for a few of us. If the church has been a part of your Sunday routine for as long as you can remember, then it's likely you've forgotten how scary it can be walking into a foreign building and risk being seen by people—genuinely seen.
I was once that young adult, trying to find a home church, yet afraid to be seen amongst a group of strangers.
4 reasons to invite people to church
Why should we invite people to church? It is so easy for us to believe that our friends and neighbors will make it there independently. We don’t want to impose on anyone, and we definitely don’t want to embarrass ourselves. So, do we really need to invite people?
The quick answer is yes, and here are four reasons why.
1. People are afraid
You don’t need to live in a country where believers are crucified to be afraid to go to church. Going to church alone is terrifying. Especially when you’ve been hurt by the church or by members of the church, I can attest to this feeling.
During my college years, I became very curious about God and religion. There was something in the pit of my stomach that wanted to know more about who God was. I had so many questions. The problem was, I didn’t know where to begin. I started going to Catholic mass but could barely stay awake. I didn’t understand the service, nor did I get any questions answered, so I never returned.
Then, in 2013 I moved across state lines to start my job in the U.S. Air Force. I was single and moving to a foreign city all by myself. I was ill-equipped, to say the least. I had never rented a place without my parent's help, but here I was doing everything alone.
After a few months, I felt settled and got into a routine of working and enjoying my downtime, but something was missing. I started researching churches in my area to explore and noticed one close to my apartment (so close I could walk to it). I decided I was going to give it a try. Unfortunately, when that Sunday came, I could not move my feet. I was overwhelmed by fear as I looked at the massive building.
What door do I enter? Are they going to make me stand up and introduce myself? How do I know my beliefs align with there’s? Will I be the darkest person in the room?
All of these questions stopped me dead in my tracks, and I never made it inside that church.
I was embarrassed.
I was afraid.
I was ashamed.
This happened over and over again. I didn’t want to walk into a church and told how much of a bad person I was. I didn’t want anyone to know I had rarely opened up the Bible. I didn’t want people to know I had questions and wasn’t entirely sure God existed.
I eventually stopped trying to find (or enter) a church. There were problems with the small churches and the big churches alike, so I just resigned myself to believe I would never belong.
Then, in Easter of 2014, it all changed. An acquaintance from college had just moved to the area with her husband and started working in my unit (small world). A few weeks before Easter, she handed me a flier and casually asked if I would like to go to church with her and have Easter lunch afterward.
I immediately said yes. She had no idea I was terrified to go to church. She had no idea I wanted to go. But she asked anyway, and it transformed my life.
2. The Bible commands us to
If the mere fact that people are embarrassed, afraid, or ashamed to go to church doesn’t move you to invite friends, then maybe understanding what the Bible has to say will.
The Bible clarifies that we are to go out and make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19-20, NIV). That doesn’t just mean missionary work in foreign countries but includes our day-to-day lives. Our purpose is to share the gospel.
God’s word directs us to gather, encourage, serve, and teach one another. The simplest way this happens is in the church. The church isn’t the only avenue to salvation, but it does provide a community of support and accountability for new and old believers.
Verses to consider:
“not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” - Hebrews 10:25, NIV
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” - Matthew 18:19-20, NIV
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” - Acts 2:42, NIV
“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” - Romans 12:4-5, NIV
“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” - Ephesians 4:14-16, NIV
3. Biblical community and accountability
The term “one-another” is used in the Bible approximately 100 times. We are called to love, serve, forgive, speak, submit, confess, pray, etc... for one another. You can’t do that if you refuse to participate in a Christian community or church.
Why invite people to church? Because the church provides biblical community and accountability that we all need. We are called to be in community with fellow believers. It is not because we are better than nonbelievers, but because we need other people to keep us accountable and help us live in a god-honoring way.
As the old adage goes, “birds of a feather flock together.” Only fellow believers can help us stick to our faith and uplift us when we struggle (because we will have hard times).
4. Knowledge of Jesus
If you genuinely believe that Jesus is who he says he is and that heaven is far better than the earth, then why wouldn’t we want to share it with our friends and family? Salvation is not guaranteed to everyone. By faith in Jesus, we are saved, and God can use you to bring someone to faith.
Why should we invite people to Church? Because the church is a great way to introduce someone to who Jesus is and how He has changed your life (and others).
How to invite someone to church
As tempting as it may be to drop and flyer and run, the best way to invite anyone to church isn’t by throwing out an open invitation. Don’t go knocking door to door and telling people they should go with you when they don’t even know you. Inviting people to church starts by asking them into your life.
The best way to invite a friend
When my friend offered to go with me to church and then invited me into her home afterward, I immediately said yes! I met her and her husband at their house before church, and we all rode together to their Easter Service. This made a world of difference.
I walked into a large foreign building and felt comforted that I had a friend by my side. Surely people wouldn’t know who I was. That service transformed my life. I felt the Holy Spirit like I had never felt before. Do you remember that something in the pit of my stomach? It was a match waiting to be ignited inside of me--a passion for the Lord. That Sunday, the fire grew full force.
I fell in love with Christ.
When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, there is an inward transformation reflected on the outside. Consider it an evolution of faith as you gradually change. There was no grand show for me accepting Jesus into my life. There was no altar call. Instead, in the middle of prayer, I raised my hand and asked Jesus into my life. From that day forward, my life has never been the same.
And you know what? It all started with ONE question – “Would you like to go to church with me?”
Having a friend beside me made the terrifying less scary. She knew which door to walk in; she comforted me in explaining what I would expect. I only had to raise my hand for being new, no need to stand up and speak (thank God!). The enemy induced those initial fears to keep me from listening to God’s will, but I had the strength to face those fears with someone by my side.
Having seen how this one question was the catalyst for my transformation, I am convicted of sharing with you this testimony in hopes that it will encourage and equip you.
The BEST way to invite someone to church is to ask them to go with you. Include them in your plans. It doesn’t have to look like my story to have the same impact.
Tips For Inviting Friends
Easter and/or the holiday season is the easiest time to invite your neighbors, friends, and family to church with you. This is when churches offer special programming/services, and family get-togethers are a given.
But even if you find yourself in the middle of the year without special services, be bold, be genuine, and simply ask, “Would you like to go to church with me?”
But please, don’t give them a flyer and then tell them to check it out or stop by. Instead, be active, be involved, and be present.
Try these 5 tips:
Pray before inviting someone. Ask the Holy Spirit to prompt you if you should invite someone. If He lays it on your heart to ask, then ask. While you could go and ask everyone you know, it’s not as effective as intentional invitations.
Ask them if they would like to go WITH you. Don’t throw an open invite, but instead offer to meet them:
Outside the main entrance of the church (and explain which entrance that it)
In the lobby of your church
At your home, so you can carpool together.
Offer to meet in the parking lot and walk in together.
Offer to meet before or after for a shared meal.
Explain what it will look like.
Is there a “dress code”? (If no one ever shows up in jeans, let them know)?
Should they bring a Bible, or will there be extras?
Will they have to introduce themselves?
Which door should they enter if you aren’t meeting them beforehand?
How long will the service be?
Are they expected to tithe? (I would hope not, but please make it clear).
Take away as much of the unknown as possible, making it less scary to attend.
Be by their side as they fearfully step into the unknown. Your presence will comfort them and give them the strength to see for themselves what church is really about.
Follow up. If they attended church, follow up and ask what they thought? Are they interested in attending again? Did they have questions or concerns? Do they know where to start next? Getting them to church is a huge victory, but there is still work to be done. Our goal is to bring people to Christ, not just the Church.
Once you’ve invited your friend, and they’ve attended church, help them uncover the next steps. Remember, our purpose is to bring people to Christ, not just church. If you need help discovering what would be next, check out the Getting Started in Growing Your Faith Page.
Recommended Resources:
Which Version of the Bible Should I Read?
Bible Study Basics: A Step-by-Step Guide
Be encouraged. Your invitation and presence will open the door for people to know that church isn't filled with stereotypical Bible thumpers or holier than thou Christians, but instead, sinners in need of saving. People worth knowing - people just like you and me. Broken yet eager.
So start thinking and praying over whom you plan to invite next, and when it comes down to it, just ask, “Would you like to go to church with me?” Your bravery in asking may be all it takes for their bravery to commit their life to the Lord.
