Motherhood
Motherhood is hard. You already know this. But you don’t have to fall into the trap of sacrificial motherhood, giving up everything for your children. Momma, your identity is not tied to the children you birthed (or adopted). In the mundane moments of life, be encouraged that it all matters. You can experience joy. In these posts you will find testimonies of how God has shown up in the mundane moments of motherhood. How he has helped navigate tantrums and discipline, to breastfeeding and postpartum body image issues.
If you’re filled with guilt, or maybe you’re tired, you’’ll find plenty of good advice for parents!
In some ways, I wish I could say that my worries and anxiety were abnormal. Because if it were, then it would mean that very few mothers would suffer the agonizing “what if’s” that plague me. But that’s not the case.
It’s completely normal to be worried, nervous, or uneasy about something like pregnancy and motherhood. For most of us, it’s a case of new mom anxiety*. From the moment you become a mom, whether biological or through adoption, fear and anxiety is an ever-present factor in your life.
The seasons of motherhood are hard. They are tiring, emotional, frustrating at times. We know our children are blessings. We know this time will pass. We know. Yet still, we are struggling.
Momma, I see you, I feel you, I am you.
By failing to practice with her, we were suffering our own consequence of relearning the same letters and frustration/impatience on my part. It wasn’t fair of me to be frustrated with my daughter when I had failed to train her to remember.
It's so easy for us to forget how much discipline and practice it takes to train up a child. Just when you think your kid is done having potty accidents, they decide to pee their pants because they are having too much fun.
We must remember that it takes endless practice and lots of grace. Our kiddos are going to make mistakes. We are going to make mistakes.
On the day you were born, my sweet baby boy, you made one heck of an entrance, and showed me just how much my heart could grow to love another person so much.
Momma, you are not the only one. I know motherhood looks fabulous on some momma’s, but the truth is, there are tough seasons for everyone. It may look different, but no mother or parent is perfect. There will be a day in which your child actually puts on what you pulled out. They will let you brush their teeth, and they will even eat what you serve them. This day may be few and far between, but it will be glorious.
Those days will remind you that your child doesn’t act like a turd on purpose. They are still trying to figure out the world around them. The few moments of obedience will give you a little boost of confidence you need to make it another day.
My son is two. [Insert automatic sympathy/condolences here]
Actually, it hasn’t been terrible; it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I expected. Most days I want him to stay two forever! Learning to talk and the innocence of his actions melt my heart. But boy does he have his DAYS. Days where the theme of our life is tantrum after tantrum, triggered by either too many emotions going on in his little head at once or not getting his way.
Entering motherhood I was already in a weak sleep position, so the 24/7 job hours of motherhood certainly hasn’t made my issue any better. My spirit and attitude towards sleep has spiraled out of control. I covet every hour, lost or gained. I obsess, anxiously, over the loss or lack of it. I put all of my hope for the next day in that night's sleep. Sometimes I can’t sleep worrying about not sleeping…
The problem (or my sin) isn’t me trying to create a conducive sleep environment or take healthy steps to obtain a whole night of sleep - it’s that I hold too tightly to the need for sleep. My brain consciously and subconsciously relies on sleep more than God.
“Mommy” my two year old called with a wide grin on her face.
I looked up to find her bowl flipped over and rice scattered all over the dining room table, seat, and floor.
“NATALIE, what are you doing!” . . . Anger instantly overcame me and my voice rose louder and louder as she sat there, proud of her actions, knowing full well she would get a response out of me.
As look into your brand-spanking new baby’s eyes - you are encapsulated with the wonder of their life. Nothing else matters anymore. You never realized how focused and complete you could feel until your baby was laid on your chest in the first moments of their life. Words cannot be formed and your exhaustion is irrelevant as you are entranced into the marvelous adventure of motherhood. Planned or unplanned; this child is everything.
Very seldom do you hear or see mommas leaving their cubs behind to go “fight a war” (using this term loosely). Yet, here I was.
Whether a military mom, a missionary, an author on tour, a singer, executive, etc., many women are called to leave their babies in someone else’s care as they follow His plan, fighting back all the guilt and pain associated with leaving a part of you behind.
See, it wasn’t until I was in my late teens to mid 20’s that I embraced femininity, before then, I fought it like the plague; as if being a woman was a bad thing!
I hated the idea that men and women were different. I wanted to believe that we were the same and could do the same things and I wanted to prove it.
This showed in the activities I was interested in as a pre-teen/teen. I would avoid any activity that related to “50’s housewife” life, such as cleaning, baking or helping my mom in the kitchen. If the boys didn’t have to do it, then I shouldn’t have to either—this was my main argument.
Natalie Aurora,
This past week you moved on up to the toddler room at your new CDC. As your father and I went to pick you up, we spoke to your caregiver to see how the day went. Quickly, the caregiver you had spent 8 hours with noted your bossiness and stubbornness.
I’d heard it before, other army spouses telling me that they were almost grateful for said deployment because it brought them closer to their children. I definitely thought they were a little nuts… at the time.
Now that my battle buddy, my son, and I are nearly done with 9 months of challenge after challenge; I can strongly attest to the fact that this deployment has not only brought me closer to my son but it has taught me to love him deeper.
Loving our children is almost always an instinctual, easy thing to do. I’d argue that loving your children is life’s most natural form of love. Yet, through countless screaming hours and fussy seasons of my son’s life I’ve learned that while loving him was easy, finding joy in him all the time is not.
My identity as a mother is huge, a great gift - but I am more than a mother. I am a woman of God. That means something and it’s not something for us to forget.
This is Part 3 of a 3 Part Breastfeeding Series in honor of National Breastfeeding Awareness Month
Closing off the series, I wanted to share must-haves for every nursing mom, as well as ways to support a nursing mom.
Remember, breastfeeding is not the best option for everyone. Whether you chose to breastfeed, bottle-feed or both remember that this is only a small choice in raising up a child.
This piece is Part 8 of a 9 Part Series called I Am Not Defined By My Weight, inspired by Rachel Hollis' book "Girl, wash your face".
I’ve been trying to write this post for about two months now, and I don’t know why it’s been so hard.
It might be that I still consider myself in the postpartum season even though I think the medical field refers to postpartum as the 6 weeks after delivery.
Yet, as any woman who has given birth will tell you, the after-effects of labor do not disappear after 6 weeks.
Why You Should Read:
I understand that not everyone shares a passion for reading, that’s totally okay. Regardless of your passion, I do believe that you should attempt to read on a regular basis. Why? Because there are so many benefits to reading!
I Am Not Defined By My Weight - Part VII Pregnancy
This piece is Part 7 of a 9 Part Series called I Am Not Defined By My Weight, inspired by Rachel Hollis' book "Girl, wash your face".
My pregnancy did not meet all of my expectations. I had to stop running mid-way through my pregnancy due to pelvic pain, and I gained way more weight than I wanted (maybe 35-50 lbs.). Even still, I loved the journey I was on.
**Possible Triggers**
This is a story of one couples journey through miscarriage and pregnancy. If you are easily triggered, I recommend you invite a friend to read this post first before you go any further.
Many might say the day my husband became a father was the day our daughter was born. Some might even say it was the day he found out we were pregnant with her.
What do I say?
I saw my husband become a father the day he grieved for our unborn baby.
Have you ever yelled at your kids so loudly you lost your voice? Or at least strained it? I never imagined I would be that kind of mother, but reality taught me differently.
I’m sure we have all been there, one way or another. Mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted from mommying without a break. I would say parenting, but you know what, mommy-ing and daddy-ing are not equal, but I digress.