God Moments - Cynthia Cline's Story
/Welcome to the God Moments Series. To learn more about the series, please check out our Introduction.
For the past 10 years, I have seen God transform my world beyond what I would have ever imagined possible. I have seen His work from as far back as I can remember. I have seen Him in the heartbreaks and pain that served a purpose that, initially, wasn't so clear. Reflecting back on those 10 years, I have seen Him in the everyday moments of my life. These moments I classify as "God Moments"; moments in which God was an ever-present being even when I didn't know it at the time.
Before I delve into my story, you need to know that my story is not a unique story. It is not one that's filled with great tragedy after tragedy that will leave you in awe of my survival. On the contrary, mine is a story that many of you may relate too. A story of a child that always knew of God, but didn’t really follow Him. The kind of belief that would have you say “sure I believe in God and as long as you’re a good person, you’ll get to heaven."
My story is a story of a girl who thought being "good" would be enough, but somehow never managed to become "enough." So let me take you on my journey of how I came to know and love God.
In the Beginning
Interesting enough, I started to see God more when I became involved with my now husband. David and I started dating in a very unconventional manner. We had been friends all throughout college and were very adamant that we would never be anything more. I was a "Catholic" Puerto Rican from inner-city Cleveland who carried a little too much weight, and he was a "general Baptist" skinny white boy from a suburban area off Interstate 71. Who we were/who we identified as did not seem to fit your stereotypical relationship. We couldn’t have been more opposite.
For years (three to be exact), we fought any feelings that resembled a romantic relationship until fighting became too challenging and we decided to give us a chance. For three months we fell in a sort of love that we both had never experienced before. A love that wasn't necessarily based on physical attraction or lust as it was on personality and friendship.
We dreamed of a future together and quickly found ourselves discussing marriage. Unfortunately, this is when our trials began. Remember, I told you I was Catholic. I was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic Church; David was very much a Baptist who adamantly disagreed with much of the Catholic religion. Our religious difference drove a wedge in our relationship that would cause a lot of issues for years to come.
Know What You Believe
At the beginning of any relationship, you never really know a person. It takes years to understand their history and more importantly who they really are. Here we were, 3 months into a relationship and David thought I was going to require him to convert to Catholicism. What he didn't know was that although I identified as Catholic, I struggled with the religion for a very long time. I was in a stage of my life where I didn't know who God was. I felt distant from Him and confused. I didn't think I could be Catholic anymore and I felt guilt-ridden because of this.
Needless to say, David and I broke up, mainly because of our perceived religious differences. I had never felt so broken in my life than when I believed my future was over (I know its dramatic but I was young and in love.) I had started dreaming of a future with David and now could no longer erase those visions. Without him, there seemed to be no future.
Then one night, I lay in my bed weeping like never before when something within me changed. In my heart, I instantly knew that I would be okay. I knew that my future would be okay, with or without David. The sobbing rapidly stopped, my breathing slowed to normal, and my body relaxed as if a loving friend was embracing me.
Inexplicably, I knew that God was present in the moment with me. I was no longer alone. This was my first recognizable and in your face "God Moment."
Looking back, the breakup highlighted the fact that I had no idea what I genuinely believed in regards to God. I felt the Catholic Church wasn't the right place for me, but I didn't want to convert to another religion for the sake of a boy. I wanted to find out the truth, and hopefully that truth would help me realize whether David and I were supposed to be together. And so, this sparked the beginning of a new chapter in my life where I began searching for what it was that I genuinely believed. The painful, dreadful, never want to repeat breakup was redeemed in order to bring me closer to God.
There is so much more to my testimony, and my story and I plan to reveal more as the year goes on. For now, if you want to read more about my story, feel free to check out these posts (Not Good Enough: Self-Worth In College and How One Question Got Me To Go To Church).
